Private dreams and public expectations

In my opinion, you can't call something stupid or awful unless you've actually seen it. With that thought in mind, I sat down with a friend of mine a few years back and watched High School Musical one and two. Sure, they're not exactly Hollywood's finest, but they're perfectly enjoyable when in the company of good friends and if you're able to find the humour in each of Zac and Vanessa's silly little adventures.

After Sharpay did her whole Hawaiian-themed song and the two lovebirds found each other again, all had ended well for East High's students. Yet the story wasn't finished: there was still Senior Year.

So, a couple of years later and with the same friend, we watched High School Musical 3. Admittedly, I am envious of the talents displayed in that movie. It could be that all the actors use stand-ins for the really difficult dance moves, but if that really is all them, then I say: "Congratulations!" I know I wish I could perform such moves, but alas, those talents are reserved for others, to which I humbly relinquish said talents.

High School Musical isn't all that bad, really. If you can look past the façade of queer-looking, happy-go-lucky, always-breaking-out-into-song teenagers, you can find that there is something there that's real. What it is that you choose to see in the movie is completely up to you. I personally, found myself walking away with a strong sense of recognition in Zac's character. It was the song "Scream" especially that left a profound impact on me.

Not only is this scene perfectly choreographed, it's also very stylishly depicted. Note the part where Zac is in the rotating hallway. I mean, you don't see that one coming in a movie that's so close to Mamma Mia they're practically bloodrelated. And maybe Christopher Nolan borrowed a few ideas from the HMS franchise as well, seeing as how the grativy-defying hallway scene also makes an appearance in his movie Inception?

My point to all this is certainly not the glorification of HMS, I'm not that big a fan. What I wanted to share with you is the dilemma that Zac has to deal with in the movies. He has always been known for being the basketball god of East High. His team worships the ground he dribbles on and the girls stand in line to be swooned by him. But when he meets Vanessa's character, it awakens something in him he didn't think he had: a choice to be somebody else, not the next Hall-of-Famer his dad wants him to be, but rather his own person.

Throughout the movie series we see Zac being torn between his predestined career in basketball and his personal dream of theatre and by extension, acting. Like all teenage movies, daddies don't take to fondly to their boys having their own opinions, so Zac has to deal with a lot of setbacks on his way to his first musical. The point is, however, that he does get there. He makes it on stage and chooses to do what he really wants to do.

So few people in life can find the strength to go against what everybody else tells them to do and be what they want to be. Look at the caste-system in India and the subsequent rage in Bollywood movies to transcend this socially opressive system and fall in love regardless. Look at any type of movie where the main character is torn between what he feels is right and what others thell him is right.

If we all still listened to what society, parents or constitutions tell us is the right thing to do, we would still be stuck in our narrow-minded world like Victorian England, Soviet Russia or Nazi Germany. Funny how Belgium doesn't have its own specific compound noun like that, maybe we're doing something good after all?

The world of books

This weekend I bought 'The Prince of Mist' by Carlos Ruiz Zafón. I had already read his 'The Shadow of the Wind' and had really enjoyed it. Zafón is the kind of writer whose books suck you in and won't let you go until you've read the final page. This book is actually the first one he's ever written. Even though it was published in '93, I had never heard of it up until this Saturday. I've just finished reading the Epilogue and I must say that it has been quite the enjoyable read.

In his foreword, Zafón talks about how he wanted to create the kind of book he himself would like to have read as a kid and how reading a novel is like an adventure into the world of books.

The story begins when a watchmaker decides to move his family away from the city to escape the encroaching war. The time is 1943 and World War II is raging across the European continent. The Carver family arrives at the train station where Irina quickly disovers and befriends a stray cat. Her siblings Max and Alicia immediately take a disliking to the cat's perpetual piercing gaze.

Their new home is located on top of a hill, overlooking the sea and the town's lighthouse. Mr Carver finds a box of old films that Max seems very interested in. But the house has a lot more secrets and mysteries to offer the Carvers. Max discovers a stone enclosure in the far ends of the garden that houses a garden of statues with a scary clown statue at its centre. There seems to be something off about the statues, as if they're moving.

One day, Max encounters Roland, the son of the lighthouse keeper. They soon become friends and go diving together. Roland shows Max the wreck of the Orpheus, a cargo ship that sunk in the bay a few decades ago. Meanwhile at the house, Irina has a freightening encounter with a ghostly presence in her wardrobe that leaves her comatose. With their parents away to watch over Irina, Alicia and Max are left alone in the house.

Events begin to unfold more quickly when the lighthouse keeper tells them the story of the Prince of Mist. A magician of sorts who had the power to make people's wishes come true, but this came at a price. He also tells Max the story of their house's previous owners. Mr and Mrs Fleishmann and their son Jacob. It turns out that Mr Fleishmann  had made a deal with the Prince of Mist years ago and as a result, tragedy befell his family. This prompted Mrs Fleishmann to sell the house to the Carvers.

Things go awry when a powerful storm develops over the town and marks the return of the Prince of Mist. It is now up to Max, Alicia and Roland to discover a way to stop the Prince of Mist from finishing what he has started so many years ago.

While reading this book, I couldn't help but think about Stephen King's It. Both Zafón's and King's novel have a similar evil entity that threatens a small community. Even though King beat Zafón to the punch with Pennywise, Zafón's Prince of Mist offers a twist to the evil persona that King in turn seems to have borrowed for his novel Duma Key several years later.

The fact remains that the Prince of Mist is a haunting character whose scare-factor easily translates from the letters on the page into your own mind. He offers what so many of us crave: our deepest desires. Is it any wonder that the characters in the novel all too willingly oblige with whatever payment he asks?

The ominous cat in the novel reminded me of Poe's Pluto, but here it serves as a prelude to its master, not as  the true conduit of evil.

The Prince of Mist might not be a lively book, having only 200 pages it still provides for an excellent horror/young adult mystery novel. Zafón doesn't need overly long descriptions of the places his characters visit. Instead he keeps it short, but with enough attention for the small details, such as the recurring six-point star within a circle symbol. He keeps the character development firmly between his three main characters (Max, Alicia and Roland) without adding too many names and relationships. He does throw in a small triangle affair as it still a young adult novel and some sense of relationship drama is needed.

Overall, this book is perfect for when you have a few hours and you want to read something à la Stephen King but don't have the time -or energy- to wrestle through one of his encyclopedia-esque books.

Tragedy fatigue syndrome?

Hurricane Tomas strikes down on the Caribbeans, killing dozens.

Hundreds of people are killed in a cholera outbreak in Haiti.

Central Java is evacuated after Mount Merapi repeatedly erupts.

Flight 883 crashes in Cuba, killing all 65 aboard.

Super typhoon Megi devastates the Philippines, killing 10.

A Chinese coal mine explodes, 20 people die.

Burst pipeline in Iran kills 10 people.

Twelve. Hundred. Sixty-five. Ten. Nine. Twenty. Ten.

What then, is the value of one?

It's becoming increasingly clear that our world is slowly becoming unhinged. Natural disasters have never been this frequent and devastating before. These climatic catastrophes have pushed us to the brink of a potential environmental collapse. And when we're not being badgered by nature's follies, we're fighting pointless wars that further destabilize our already unstable predicament.

After millions of years of evolution the only genetic divide that seperates us, is skin colour. Regardless, we still find ways to hate each other over such trivial matters. Over the years, with each newly discovered continent, with each newly conquered tribe humans grew closer together. Our world kept shrinking until there were no hidden places left on Earth. No stone was left unturned, no sea left unsailed and even the skies could not temper our urge for exploration and mastery of our world.

In our many years on this blue marble we've seen it all: from the cradle to the grave and all the joys and miseries in between. Yet the tragedies keep piling up. Sure, there hasn't been a world war in over half a century, but does that mean our world has become safer?

The 21st century has been declared the age of terrorism and environmental crises. It just makes you wonder, with twenty-something prior centuries under our belt, when will there be an Age of Peace? No wonder post-apocalyptic fiction and disaster movies always seem to draw quite the crowd.

At least the disaster tourists will have something to look forward to: 2012. I personally, believe in the 2012 phenomenon. It might not be the destructive force that Emmerich envisioned in his interpretation of the event, but I do believe something will happen. Whether or not this will be a benevolent of malevolent something is yet to be decided. Hopefully, I'll still be here to say 'Told you so' if I was right and 'Well, I guess I was wrong' if you guys win.

Stop! Essay time!

Yes, yes, it's that time of the year again. An event dreaded by some, much anticipated by others. I myself am quite the fan of essay writing. Don't ask me why, I grab every chance I get to write about something that interests me with both hands (and feet, if that were possible). I'm a whore for writing, I confess.

Thank goodness the subject is free of choice, which makes it that much easier to find something that captures (and holds) my attention. At first, I thought about writing something about gaming, which seems like the obvious thing to do, given my new journalism job. I found myself however, unable to find a suitable thesis statement.

Then, all of a sudden, the movie It's a Wonderful Life flashed before my eyes. I immediately began spitballing possible subjects and corresponding thesis statements to match and settled on the following:

"How It's a Wonderful Life replaced post-war atheism with the resurgence of individualism."

It's quite the mouthful, no arguing there, but it offers so much material to work with (which is the point of writing a descriptive essay). In short, I'll be writing about:

- The movie itself

- The post-war context

- Atheism in that context

- Individualism (in George Bailey's character and in society)

I've drawn up a prelimenary plan with several good ideas, but there's still a lot to be done. Luckily, the essay isn't due until the 25th. Sadly, there's also a scientific article awaiting my eager commitment as well as a presentation about my research preceding that article and another text analysis for English Linguistics.

I'll have my work cut out for me, but then again, I'm not alone in this race against deadlines. So to all you fellow essayists, aspiring researchers and linguists: good luck and God's speed!

Songs to live and love by

It's weird to see how kindred you can feel to a person you've never met. How somebody who lives on the other side of the world can know exactly what you're going through and put it in the exact right words. I guess you really have to be an artist to have that kind of empathy and compassion.

It's also fascinating to see how that one person can capture such a specific outline of your life in just a few verses and hit the right notes at the same time.

Finger Eleven. A band I discovered via Gossip Girl (snide comments deflector shield activated - *zing*) managed to replay the story of my recently dramatized love life. Not bad, considering I've never met them. I'll display the songs in chronological order, aka the order in which it all went down. I'm not going to put a little note next to each of them, since the lyrics are pretty self-explanatory. The links to YouTube are embedded in the titles, for those of you interested in some audio-visual aid!

1) Paralyzer,

Well, I am imagining a dark lit place
Or your place or my place
Well I'm not paralyzed but I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move because you're standin' still
If your body matches what your eyes can do
You'll probably move right through me on my way to you

2) Living In A Dream,

'Cause I'm just thinking about us
I've been living in a dream about you
And now I know you were all I ever wanted on my mind
And if I never see
My own reality
Well, I'm okay to leave it all behind

3) Falling On,

When you feel so close to some result

You write the words that you're writing for

But your courage gets dissolved

And you've got to find your balance, you've got to realize

You've got to try if I was right before your eyes, oh

And if you find you falling and all your grace is gone

Just scream for me and I'll be what you're falling on, oh

Just give me the word and I'll be there

Send me the words that I've been living for

Just tell me the things that you are not afraid for

It's do or die this is either, or

Just give me the word and I will be there

4) I'll Keep Your Memory Vague,
This won't break your heart
But I just think it could
I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said
Sometimes so it reminds me
Now I'm thinking back
To what I said before
I hope your heart won't have to hurt anymore
Cause it's really not that sad from here
Because the moments I can feel you near
They keep you close to me my dear
And if they ever become too clear...


I believe this will be the last entry concerning the whole Eden-subplot of my life (hope you already figured out that this was about her) and the next one will be a lot more light-hearted! I'm thinking... Movies, games and all of those other joys that life brings, besides love. I think I'm done with love for a while. Bring on the more 'casual' stuff. That can be complicated enough at times.

The rather conflicted State of the Union

Remember when I talked about having it all, in this blog? And in this one, I talked about how this little voice keeps warning me to prepare for something bad whenever something good happens to me? Well, boys and girls, I've reached that fork in the road again. It's not your average fork as well, mine's got two tines, specifically, so it's more like a relish fork.

Some things have happened to me in the past few weeks (and one just a few days ago) that have split my world in two. I find myself torn between two women, one of these is known, the other one is the future Mrs Dubuisson, aka Mrs Right, but since I haven't found her yet, I'll call her the X-factor for the sake of understanding. The other one, the girl I know and care about, I'll call Eden (because I think this is a very beautiful name and I'd like to call my daughter that some day).

So, without delving into the history books about Eden and me, which I'd have to say is ready for its fifth volume by now, I'll just dive right in to the point where it all started to go South.

The date is the 27th of Octobre. Eden and I are sitting in a small café, enjoying each other's company and other things. What started out as something casual and friendshippy, became something deeper and more than friendshippy. Alas, like a Greek tragedy or a Shakespearian play, our relationship had a fatal flaw of its own: Eden has a boyfriend. At first, the whole BF-thing wasn't really an issue, since I wasn't into her in that way, but now...

So, after that fateful day in the café, I was pretty convinced she'd dump the BF and choose me, since she said she's always thinking about me, wanting to be near me and all the other stuff that you really only say unless you're in love. I got pretty cocky and presumed I'd prevail over the BF. But then it struck me, we've been going at it like this for weeks and still: no change in conditions. I started thinking if there'd ever be a day when I'd get to call her my own?

The next day, I was out having dinner with friends which resulted in a steady flow of drinks thereafter. The night carried on into a club and I got pretty close to someone else I know really well. But I couldn't get my mind off Eden, so I texted her, said I missed her and wished she was here. Of course, she couldn't possibly come to me, since it was already three in the morning and there were no trains. Still, I missed her.

The night morning rode on, and some things happened, some things which caused the creation of the relish fork. It wasn't just those things that caused it, really. Like I said, I've always doubted the existence of the X-factor, the one I'm meant to be with, so I've always been skeptical about relationships.

I thought I found X a while ago, but my mind contradicted it and I abided by it. And now that I found someone who seemed to complete the things that X was lacking, she had a BF. Here I had this girl with whom I had an amazing connection; we could talk about anything, talk for days and not get bored of each other, and then there's Eden with whom I have this unbelievable chemistry, but which doesn't quite translate to the verbal world. So where does that leave me? Unless splicing becomes a reality over the next few days, I doubt I'll be able to fuse these two women together into the X-factor.

In a nutshell (a bit ironic to summarize it, since this blog is already quite bulky):

- I have this truly wonderful thing with Eden, but the fact that she won't choose me over him makes me wonder if what we have can ever really be something and if I can be the guy she wants me to be.

- And then there's Wednesday night, which has made me realize that perhaps I'm not ready to be in a relationship, that I want more.

The truth is, I want to know that I have options, but I want stability as well. I want to be able to travel and to pack up my whole life and move halfway across the world if that's where my life takes me, but I also want to come home to Mrs X and raise our little family. But I know these two visions cannot be reconciled. So where does this leave me? In the same position as that damn relish fork: stuck between two options.

The do's and don'ts of growing up

Lately it feels as though my life knows only two positions: Neutral and Full Throttle. Although both positions are quite enjoyable, they also come with their respectable downsides.

When in Neutral, I feel somewhat disconnected from everything. These are the times when I'm at home, watching a movie or spending the day doing virtually nothing. I don't really mind doing nothing from time to time, but it feels like I'm just watching the world from afar and seeing possibilities slip away. Of course, it does provide some breathing room, a buffer from the wickedness of the Full Throttle-lifestyle.

Full Throttle means I hardly have the time to sit still. There's homework, projects, presentations, articles, social visits, etc. On the plus side, I don't feel disconnected anymore, but on the downside, I feel like I'm too connected. There's this constant pressure to do something, to be someone or to go somewhere.

In the end, all efforts seem futile because there'll always be something else I forgot to do, I'll always fall one or two inches short of who I'm supposed to be and there'll always be places out of reach. Makes me wonder if I'll ever just ... be.

In life, there are so many things a person should and shouldn't do. From infancy we're taught that potties are the way to go, that eating vegetables is good for you and that you should always behave accordingly. Alternatively, stealing is bad, hitting is bad, cheating is bad, ... But have you ever stopped to think just how vague these prohibitions are?

If we steal food because we'll otherwise starve, still considered bad?
Is hitting someone else bad because they're hurting us?

Is cheating one someone because we actually love someone else,
but are too afraid to admit that, wrong?