Lately it feels as though my life knows only two positions: Neutral and Full Throttle. Although both positions are quite enjoyable, they also come with their respectable downsides.
When in Neutral, I feel somewhat disconnected from everything. These are the times when I'm at home, watching a movie or spending the day doing virtually nothing. I don't really mind doing nothing from time to time, but it feels like I'm just watching the world from afar and seeing possibilities slip away. Of course, it does provide some breathing room, a buffer from the wickedness of the Full Throttle-lifestyle.
Full Throttle means I hardly have the time to sit still. There's homework, projects, presentations, articles, social visits, etc. On the plus side, I don't feel disconnected anymore, but on the downside, I feel like I'm too connected. There's this constant pressure to do something, to be someone or to go somewhere.
In the end, all efforts seem futile because there'll always be something else I forgot to do, I'll always fall one or two inches short of who I'm supposed to be and there'll always be places out of reach. Makes me wonder if I'll ever just ... be.
In life, there are so many things a person should and shouldn't do. From infancy we're taught that potties are the way to go, that eating vegetables is good for you and that you should always behave accordingly. Alternatively, stealing is bad, hitting is bad, cheating is bad, ... But have you ever stopped to think just how vague these prohibitions are?
If we steal food because we'll otherwise starve, still considered bad?
Is hitting someone else bad because they're hurting us?
Is cheating one someone because we actually love someone else,
but are too afraid to admit that, wrong?
In life, there are so many things a person should and shouldn't do. From infancy we're taught that potties are the way to go, that eating vegetables is good for you and that you should always behave accordingly. Alternatively, stealing is bad, hitting is bad, cheating is bad, ... But have you ever stopped to think just how vague these prohibitions are?
If we steal food because we'll otherwise starve, still considered bad?
Is hitting someone else bad because they're hurting us?
Is cheating one someone because we actually love someone else,
but are too afraid to admit that, wrong?
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