Hopes and dreams

"My name is Laurens and I'm guilty for wanting too much too soon."

Even though I'm only 19, I want to do so much more with my life than what I'm doing right now. I want to work as a freelance writer at a famous paper or magazine. And when I'm done with writing or working freelance, I'd like to be able to become an English teacher in the hopes of inspiring children to read or write and watch them grow. Chauvinism compells me to say that I love Belgium and that I can't think of another country to live in, but the truth is that I don't want to stay here. I want to live in a famous city like New York, London or Paris, even if that means giving up half my paycheck just to keep a roof over my head. I'd love to live in an apartment with an amazing view of the cityscape. I want to see the world and I want to start a family sometime in my early- to mid-twenties.

Yes, I know that to some, this sounds rediculous, but I just can't wait to jumpstart my life. If I could just fast-forward these obnoxious years at college or all of the crappy jobs that I'll have in between and just skip to the good part, life would be so much easier. However, I know that I will have to go through the motions. No pain, no gain is what they say - but whoever said that,  should be shot.

Still, I can't help but wonder what all those years at college are good for. We spend four years studying all sorts of things, taking exams and writing essays, but for what exactly? We sure as hell can't use any of it on our resume!

When I think about what I want my life to look like, I use - and I'm not ashamed to say this - television shows such as 'Sex and The City' and 'Will and Grace' as examples. I want to write for a living like Carrie Bradshaw (though not in terms of her sex column), go to the art gallery openings, visit all the hot new bars and restaurants and enjoy life to the fullest in a metropolis such as New York. I want to live in an apartment like Will and Grace do and be surrounded by my closest friends - I wouldn't even mind to indulge in some situation comedy once in a while. I know why those shows are so successful: because everybody secretly wants their life. They want the promisciuous lifestyle, the amazing friendships and all of the others things that the actors seemingly have and that they lack. Who could blame them, really?

So yesterday I started playing around on some real estate sites and I looked up a few apartments in New York. I suggested monthly rent between $500 en $1500 - which is already a lot of money - but I only ended up with crappy one-bedroom apartments. Needless to say that life in a major city can also cost major amounts of money.

Then I realized that James Frey, author of 'Bright Shiny Morning', already discussed the real estate hell that New York is in. Today it seems as though only the high-income superstar earners have a shot at landing a pre-war apartment that doesn't look as if it's actually been through a war. James Frey commented on New York's insupportable situation that Los Angeles has become a new haven for the people that have been rendered homeless by NY's rising rents.

Living in LA. It wouldn't have been my first choice, but definitely not my last! Sure, I wouldn't mind the 73% days of sun out of a whole year or brushing past superstars in the streets. No sir, I wouldn't mind that at all. Hell, if LA means cheaper apartments, more sun and a greater chance of celebrity-spotting, I'd gladly take a few tremors and floods to go with it.

Of course, for now, my situation seems pretty restricted to the borders of Belgium. But one day, and hopefully that day isn't too far off, I'd like to pack my bags, put all of my books and dvds in a box, bubblewrap my fragiles, plant a big "FOR SALE" sign on my front lawn and ship off to the New World.

Until that day, dear reader, I'll still be here, jammering about the days to come, the places to see and the desires that remain unfulfilled. Hopefully this aspiration won't lead to me becoming the male equivalent of a cat lady, sitting all alone in my one-bedroom apartment, grinding my teeth and talking to all of my cats (preferably dogs, since I'm not a cat person) about the good ol' days. Should this happen, please shoot me - or at least stungun me.

"My name is Laurens and I am a dreamer. Always am, always will be".