Jennifer: "My tit..."
Needy: "No, your heart."
Goodmorning everyone! I just watched Jennifer's Body for the second time (on Bluray, of course, how else?) and I have to say, it just keeps getting better. I know some of you don't really appreciate the cinematic art that is Jennifer's Body - I'm not going to name any names, E! -, but seriously, just watch the movie (again). There's bound to be something in those delicious 95 minutes that you'll love - and I don't mean the end credits, just in case there are any wisecrackers out there!
I first saw the movie about six months ago and I just laughed through the whole thing. I mean, the dialogues in this thing are straight-A comedy material. I'm not just talking about the small-town, hillbilly slang sort of way they're talking, for instance: "Yeah, right. I'm not even a backdoor-virgin anymore, thanks to Roman. By the way, that hurts. I couldn't even go to flags the next day. I had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas," or if that doesn't do it for you: "Got a tampon? You seem like you might be pluggin." Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. And in movies like this, there's always the token Asian girl with a 'witty' remark. This movie's edition is called Chastity and this is what she has to say: "Uh, it's real, you know. It's on the Wikipedia!" Now, you might start to question good ol' Chastity's IQ, but that's not really the point here, although I think that one sentence pretty much says it all.
Jennifer's Body's not all about the dialogue as well. Who could forget - those who've already seen the movie - the lesbian make-out scene between Jennifer and Needy? It gets pretty steamy! Of course, how could it not? As a director, you kind of owe it to yourself (and your fans) to flash some major display of flesh if your movie is called Jennifer's BODY. And with an actress like Megan Fox, it's practically a given that there's going to be a lot of 'junk in the trunk' and 'titty' camera time. In the movie, Jennifer refers to her tits as actual 'smart bombs', I don't know how relevant this last part was, but hey, welcome to the world of blogging. I can say/write whatever I want to say/write. Readers can always skip certain parts, although the fact that you're reading these words, means you haven't given up on me - yet. That means I can continue with the obscenities!
I won't however, I mean, it is the Internet, who knows... There could be kids out there reading this! Kids, whatever you do: don't do booze, drugs or sex. No wait, that's a terrible thing to say. Kids, if you're going to consume massive quantities of alcohol, do so in front of your peers, they'll support you and if they really love you, they'll even hold your hair back when you puke. No matter how vulgar this sounds, alcohol (and friends) are really fun, just be responsible! And if you're going to do drugs, might I recommend White Widow, two grams? I mean, I'm not an expert in that area, but a certain friend of mine (S) told me this was the way to go. Now, for the last piece of advice - sex - it's going to happen anyway, so you might as well dive right in. Rappers are advertising it, companies are commercialising it and the prostitutes are selling it in the Rue d'Aerschot - Brussels North station, in case you were wondering. Just make sure if you have sex, that nobody gets knocked up. I think that kinda rounds off today's lessons for the underaged.
On to the last words of this blog, and no, they're not going to be 'My tit', although it does sound tempting. I mean, how many bloggers can say they ended their piece on that note? Maybe I will, just for non-conformist sake! Anyways, I advise you all to go see Jennifer's Body. If you hate it, fine, at least I know I tried and if you love it, I told you so, didn't I? So there, my closing statement for this blog and now I'm off to the library... Some people still have some studying to do, instead of reading this blog! Shame on you! Nah, I'm just kidding, stop by anytime. Who knows, if the studying doesn't work out, I'll probably go on ahead and write another one of these. Sayonara!
- My tit.
There I said it. Your move.
I first saw the movie about six months ago and I just laughed through the whole thing. I mean, the dialogues in this thing are straight-A comedy material. I'm not just talking about the small-town, hillbilly slang sort of way they're talking, for instance: "Yeah, right. I'm not even a backdoor-virgin anymore, thanks to Roman. By the way, that hurts. I couldn't even go to flags the next day. I had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas," or if that doesn't do it for you: "Got a tampon? You seem like you might be pluggin." Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. And in movies like this, there's always the token Asian girl with a 'witty' remark. This movie's edition is called Chastity and this is what she has to say: "Uh, it's real, you know. It's on the Wikipedia!" Now, you might start to question good ol' Chastity's IQ, but that's not really the point here, although I think that one sentence pretty much says it all.
Jennifer's Body's not all about the dialogue as well. Who could forget - those who've already seen the movie - the lesbian make-out scene between Jennifer and Needy? It gets pretty steamy! Of course, how could it not? As a director, you kind of owe it to yourself (and your fans) to flash some major display of flesh if your movie is called Jennifer's BODY. And with an actress like Megan Fox, it's practically a given that there's going to be a lot of 'junk in the trunk' and 'titty' camera time. In the movie, Jennifer refers to her tits as actual 'smart bombs', I don't know how relevant this last part was, but hey, welcome to the world of blogging. I can say/write whatever I want to say/write. Readers can always skip certain parts, although the fact that you're reading these words, means you haven't given up on me - yet. That means I can continue with the obscenities!
I won't however, I mean, it is the Internet, who knows... There could be kids out there reading this! Kids, whatever you do: don't do booze, drugs or sex. No wait, that's a terrible thing to say. Kids, if you're going to consume massive quantities of alcohol, do so in front of your peers, they'll support you and if they really love you, they'll even hold your hair back when you puke. No matter how vulgar this sounds, alcohol (and friends) are really fun, just be responsible! And if you're going to do drugs, might I recommend White Widow, two grams? I mean, I'm not an expert in that area, but a certain friend of mine (S) told me this was the way to go. Now, for the last piece of advice - sex - it's going to happen anyway, so you might as well dive right in. Rappers are advertising it, companies are commercialising it and the prostitutes are selling it in the Rue d'Aerschot - Brussels North station, in case you were wondering. Just make sure if you have sex, that nobody gets knocked up. I think that kinda rounds off today's lessons for the underaged.
On to the last words of this blog, and no, they're not going to be 'My tit', although it does sound tempting. I mean, how many bloggers can say they ended their piece on that note? Maybe I will, just for non-conformist sake! Anyways, I advise you all to go see Jennifer's Body. If you hate it, fine, at least I know I tried and if you love it, I told you so, didn't I? So there, my closing statement for this blog and now I'm off to the library... Some people still have some studying to do, instead of reading this blog! Shame on you! Nah, I'm just kidding, stop by anytime. Who knows, if the studying doesn't work out, I'll probably go on ahead and write another one of these. Sayonara!
- My tit.
There I said it. Your move.
2 comments:
When done reading, I thought 'MF making out with a girl? Let's watch this movie!'. So I simply YT'd the scene. Have to say: not impressed. This movie (and MF for all I care) are best forgotten ASAP.
And as for the WW: that's personal preference. Some like one kind, others even like to mix 'em up. So kids: experiment and see for yourself :D
Mayhaps I will watch it again one day..
Who knowzzz
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