Metamorphosis

I can't believe this is going to be my last blog as a 19 year old. I'm turning twenty in one hour, give or take a few minutes (or I might have already turned 20 depending on your timezone!). So if you want to wish me a happy birthday already, you can and it will be sincerely appreciated, but no pressure or anything.

He sure has the ghetto thing down to an art.
Fo sho.



Today was a really weird day. Not weird as in Al Jankovic or as in the way certain 'subcultures' are able to keep their caps on, even though the only thing holding them up is hope -I'll include this picture just so there are no misunderstandings, but a different kind of weird. The life-altering kind.

The day felt weird as in it felt like the first day of the rest of my life. I know it sounds cliché and exaggerated, but it was like reality became permeable and I could see my own future. Before I go all quantum physics on your asses, I'll slow down a bit and tell you about my day.

There was this event at school today called 'Global Village' which was in fact this sort of information moment for those interested in going on Erasmus. Ever since I had enough understanding of the world and the role our little country played in it, I knew I didn't want to live here for the rest of my life. So naturally, I started to branch out and look for other options. It turns out, the answer lay right across ye olde pond, otherwise known as the North Sea.

 

No, your geographical skills have not yet abandoned you, I am talking about the UK, the United Kingdom, Great Britain or whatever name you prefer. It all fits together perfectly: I love to write in English, the UK is an English-speaking country. I hate the fact of living in Belgium, the UK is not Belgium. You see? It's a win-win, really.

So while I was at the Global Village, my eyes immediately scanned the room in search of its most prized possession: the University of Sheffield stand. And as my eyes have not yet -completely- failed me, I found it, which, come to think of it, wasn't all that hard, considering they had a big old British flag hanging above them. I walked over there, all confident and excited, it felt right in some way. The guy I was talking to there only had to utter one sentence and I knew I was sold. I mean, I was actually sold from the moment I saw the United Kingdom as a possible destination in the brochure, but still, you wanna keep 'em guessing for a while. You don't wanna come off as too desperate.

Baby, where have you been all my life?

Okay, fuck it. No secrets here. I am desperate to get into Sheffield. There, I've said it. Felt good. Felt good saying I wanna go there. Hell, it's the truth, isn't it? And doesn't the truth always have a way of coming out?

Anyway, back to the permeability of reality I was experiencing all day long. As I was sitting in my grandmother's kitchen, I started to think about my life, at that moment, only one year into the future. I imagined me in Sheffield, in my student apartment and thinking about how I used to dream of coming here, one year ago. Then I saw myself hanging out with my future fellow students and sitting in these ancient, dust-plagued classrooms and I became deliriously happy. There's no other way of putting it. I was quite sure I was positively glowing in that kitchen.

I hope that, within one year's time, I'll still be writing this blog, only from a slightly different location. It would be cool if, one year later, I'd still remember having written this blog and look back on it then (wow, refering to an action in the future in the past tense, what would linguists have to say about that?). So, if I did not completely succomb to Alzheimer's by then and I did remember having written this blog, I betcha Future Me is reading this at the exact moment I'm writing this. In which case: Hi, Future Me, hope you're happy over there in Sheffield! Can't wait to meet you!

But enough about Future Me, let's go back to Present Me, he's more fun -I hope. At least he keeps it real.

So, only 40 minutes to go (again, give or take a few) until I turn 20. Wow, why does it feel so weird? It's just a number, really, so why does it feel like my whole life's about to change? Why does it feel like I won't be the same person when I wake up tomorrow? I mean, I know I'll still be me, but I wonder if I'll have changed somewhat. I mean, people change all the time. Our noses continue to grow every day, sure it's by mere nanomillimetres or whatever is the smallest possible measurement, but still...

We learn new things every day, it seems only natural that our bodies adapt accordingly. We make tons of new memories every day, shed old cells and create new ones continuously. Hair grows, blood runs, sweat drops and hearts beat. Our entire bodies are living and breathing -duh!- organisms, so it's perfectly possible that our personalities are living and breathing as well, right?

I wonder if I'll like the person I'm becoming and if others will like it too? And if not, when is it too late to change yourself, can it even be done?

If ever you would see a side of me that you don't particularly like, please say so. Evolution is a process like all others and I'm always open to suggestions. I don't want there to be any rebellions, revolutions or strikes. Just common dialogue will suffice, thank you. Let me know and I'll talk to management, see what I can do.

Only 35 minutes left. Guess I better enjoy these last few moments of 19-dom. I think I had a good year. New Year's kinda sucked when I was 19, the exams were a bitch too and the trip to Milan certainly wasn't without its ups and downs. But I met some awesome new people and I've gotten to know my friends better. Plus, I finally found where I belong in school, direction wise. I've laughed, cried, loved, hated, feared, wanted, received, given, breathed, hummed, sang, talked, wrote, laughed, wrote, loved, hated, wanted, wrote, laughed, wrote and more of the same to this very day.

I'm happy with how my 19th year on this planet went. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't too shabby either. In a year's time, I'll give you an update on my 20th year. Hopefully, it'll have been even better. And, more importantly, taken place on an entirely different spot on this planet. So here's to hoping...

- for a great year

- for an acceptance to Sheffield

- for finding love

- for writing my first real article

- for seeing my article be published

- for making new friends

- and keeping old ones

- for partying and having reckless fun

- for being fearless and bold

- for having an amazing trip to Budapest with S

- for being genuinely happy

- for making it to my 21st year without a single regret

Well, I guess that's all folks. See y'all when I'm 20!